I know, I know. It’s basically become a cliché for Westerners to travel to Phuket, so much so that reviews for the area have taken a sudden turn south. Nonetheless, the close proximity to home, comparatively cheap shopping and the image of a tropical paradise is enough to lure Australians in particular all year round. Hence in an attempt to reveal some more specific positives, it will be the subject of my first review.
I guess the foremost criticism of the area is that despite the glaring differences between Thai and Western culture, the effects of globalization and the consequence of the high-profitability of tourism in the region, have seen to it that Phuket is merely a “home away from home”, rather than a cultural experience. That’s not to say that there aren’t aspects of the culture to be absorbed, because there certainly are. However, after spending even a few hours in Patong Beach, it becomes somewhat clear that there is a unified purpose amongst the locals to simply serve and please the tourist population.
It probably doesn’t bother them too much, given that their lives are sustained by the continuous influx of foreigners and their heavy wallets, and this has been the case for several decades. But you can’t help but feel guilty for the erosion of their traditional lifestyle, just so that we wouldn’t have to go a couple of weeks without McDonalds or cable TV (we wouldn’t want to miss the footy).
I guess the foremost criticism of the area is that despite the glaring differences between Thai and Western culture, the effects of globalization and the consequence of the high-profitability of tourism in the region, have seen to it that Phuket is merely a “home away from home”, rather than a cultural experience. That’s not to say that there aren’t aspects of the culture to be absorbed, because there certainly are. However, after spending even a few hours in Patong Beach, it becomes somewhat clear that there is a unified purpose amongst the locals to simply serve and please the tourist population.
It probably doesn’t bother them too much, given that their lives are sustained by the continuous influx of foreigners and their heavy wallets, and this has been the case for several decades. But you can’t help but feel guilty for the erosion of their traditional lifestyle, just so that we wouldn’t have to go a couple of weeks without McDonalds or cable TV (we wouldn’t want to miss the footy).
Daytime at Patong generally consists of several trucks patrolling Thaweewong Road (the beach strip) sporting cheesy PA promotions and some old school rock tunes, preparing Patong for the coming night, which is no surprise given the “party” reputation Patong has compared to its more subdued neighbours Kata and Karon. Nonetheless, there are countless activities worthwhile during the day. The beach itself does little to fulfill Phuket’s image of ‘paradise’ despite the crystal clear water and white sand, as it is generally littered with thousands of tourists, and the water littered with jetskiis.
On that note, if water sports are your thing, Phuket is the place to do it! You can hire a 2-seater jetski for around 1200 baht for 40 minutes (which equates to around $45 AUD), a very cheap proposition when compared to prices in Australia! However, be extremely weary: there is no insurance on the skis, and any damage sustained will see you out of pocket by at least 10,000 baht (sometimes up to 60,000, as it turns out, you can even barter for reparations in Thailand, but maybe just bring the credit card for this!). So in other words, be careful! Also, try to stay calm if an accident occurs. Defuse the situation with rational discussion and don’t lose your cool, as this is considered to be very dangerous by the locals! If you’ve been mistreated or threatened, find the ‘Tourist Police’ and let them rectify the situation (yes, such a thing exists!)
If you’re still feeling a little sporty, make your way down to the North end of Thaweewong Road, just next to the Graceland Resort. There is a soccer pitch that is predominately gravel with some undersized goals on it, but you’ll generally see a couple of scratch matches throughout the day, as well as some at night. I mention this because they’re extremely welcoming people and won’t hesitate to let you participate if you wish, however do expect some bruised and bloody feet afterwards, as they play in bare feet, and nationalistic pride dictates that we wouldn’t want them to think we’re soft. And there is some serious talent there, too.
Be sure to visit the various markets in the area. Thaweewong Road is predominately a stream of market stalls, with countless rows of stalls running off perpendicular to the main strip. There is also a large market area a few blocks inland, just south of Bangla Road. The products are fairly limited, and you’ll notice that most of the t-shirts and clothing is the same, but it is good fun hunting and bartering for a bargain. The majority of the stalls sell fake brand-name clothing, handbags, watches, tailored suits [tip: make sure your tailor is close to your hotel, because it will generally require a lot of return visits for alterations] sunglasses and other little goodies. They’ll always try to insist that the products are legitimate (whether it be the brand-name or ‘real’ leather), but when you question it, you’re sure to be satisfied with the “yes, real fake leather” response. But I’m sure the main attraction for most is the abundance of DVDs.
This is more serious than the peep shows, as you’ll be led down corridors, up stairs, through basements and down ladders just to get to the room with the DVDs, this is to avoid the ‘raids’ on the street. It’s usually worth the trip just for the air-conditioned room, but there are literally thousands of titles to add to your collection. Just make sure you check the quality first, particularly with newer titles. [Tip: Stating the obvious, never pay what they ask for. You can always get the price a lot lower, except in the case of DVDs. 50 baht is the going rate for a DVD, and you won’t find any lower than that unless you buy in huge bulk. If you can, try to make friends with a tailor you use, and they’ll make sure their friends give you the best price on other products].
Eventually you’ll tire of the generic products and incessant calls of “massssaaaaagge?”, “looks like you need a suit” and “are you from Wagga Wagga my man?”, and you’ll force yourself to branch out a little. Either grab yourself a tuk-tuk driver for the day, or hire a scooter / motorbike (for as little as 300 baht for a day). But like the jetskiis, they are uninsured, and the road traffic is an unpredictable, chaotic, nightmare. So again, be careful!
There are activities to cater for all tastes within a reasonable distance of Patong, including go-karts, paintball, motocross, shooting-ranges (where you can shoot anything from a pistol to a sniper rifle) and Phuket Zoo (where you can get a photo with an orangutan, plus an adult tiger and a cub, as well as seeing some incredible elephant, monkey and crocodile shows). Of course a ‘must-do’ is the elephant riding, which is almost a symbol of Thailand. Word is that the elephants must earn a living much the same as a tuk-tuk driver! If they don’t have passengers, they probably won’t be eating that night! So don’t feel like you’re exploiting the animals or being inhumane, because you’re practically donating money to the World Wildlife Fund by riding them.
As the sun begins to set and your mind turns to food, be sure to try the beachside restaurants near Bangla Road. You can score yourself countless bargains with local Thai food for as little as 50 baht for a main (that’s about as cheap as eating a can of tuna for dinner, so put away your credit card, you won't need it here!) These open-air restaurants themselves can often seem very tacky, whether it is the gender-questionable manager or the seemingly diseased dog lying near the entry, but don’t let appearances fool you! The food is fantastic and brilliant value, the staff are extremely friendly and the location is perfect. [Tip: Make friends with the staff by regularly eating there, and they’ll let you bring your own drinks, including beer! Be sure to buy it from family-mart on your way to dinner, you’ll get a Chang long-neck for around 25 baht!] The only downside is the regular appearance of Thai versions of door-to-door salesmen, trying to guilt-trip you into buying useless junk while you’re trying to enjoy your dinner. They're good for a laugh though.
If the mobile propaganda and rooftop feinted sparring grabbed you like it did most, then by this stage of the night you’ll start heading towards Patong Boxing Stadium. Western pop-culture has already climbed aboard the muay-thai bandwagon, with a series of ‘The Contender’ dedicated to it as well as the popularity of movies such as ‘Ong Bak’, and the real-life action doesn’t disappoint! You may cringe at some undercard bouts that often involve young children resembling Ali and Frazier, but it’s entertaining nonetheless. And once the main-events begin, the experience is really something to remember! It’s a brutal combat sport, so do keep that in mind if you don’t enjoy that sort of thing.
Once you’re done, families will recede back to hotels and resorts, and you’ll be ready for a night to remember... that you'll probably forget.
